No One Will Ever Believe You

I'm a college student in San Francisco and lately we've been having a lot of concern over the recent earthquake predictions. One night, I woke up to find that my bed was shaking violently. I panicked thinking "EARTHQUAKE," but then I looked at the foot of my bed and there was a man standing about six foot, with both arms reaching around my mattress, shaking back and forth. It was none other than Bill Murray. When I looked into his eyes the shaking immediately stopped. He stared straight back at me and whispered "No one will ever believe you," then flew off into the night.

So it's 4:30 AM and I awake to the sounds of a breaking window. I hear the glass shatter and the pieces hit the floor in chaotic tones like the high notes on an out of tune piano. I quickly jump out of bed and realize that I am half naked with no way whatsoever of defending myself. I hear two muffled voices and realize in my sleepy stupor that I am being robbed. I quickly grab my cell phone and shuffle under my
bed.

As my mind meets wakefulness on the cold tile floor under my bed, I pray silently that the burglars won't find me. This was two years ago, and I was 23 and living on my own for the first time. I don't have model looks or anything, but a 145lb female in her underwear might just seem like icing on the criminal cake. I start shaking as I hear them enter my room. I can hear my heartbeat above my breathing, which
is becoming louder as my terror gasps grow quicker by the minute.

Just as I begin to fear the worst, I hear my closet door bust open. There are now three men in my room. I hear the robbers yell in surprise, and one of them screams out, “Who the fuck are you?!”

I see the feet of the man who emerged from the closet cross the room to the threshold of my door. The light go on. I hear a different voice, the second robber say in a tone equally formed of shock and confusion, “B- Bi- Bill Murray?”

The first robber doesn't hesitate. “I've got a knife man!” He says threateningly. As soon as the words escape his mouth I hear swift movement, and two loud cries of pain. Both robbers drop to the floor unconscious, large men well over six feet tall, muscular and masked.

“You can get out from under the bed now” says the remaining voice in a familiar monotone. I scuttle out from under the bed, my hands trying to cover my body. Before me, with an expression lacking any affect, and without any wandering eyes, is Bill Murray.

“How did you get in my-” I begin to ask the pressing question through my disbelief. He doesn't let me finish, he merely turns and begins to walk away from me. On his way out he takes the small crucifix on my bedroom door and puts in his pocket, barely uttering the words, “It's for later.”

As he finds the door out of my apartment he turns back and gives one last look to me, and to the unconscious men on the floor. He scratches his head and looks at me with a half grin, shrugging he says, “No one will ever believe you.”

Thanks Maria

So there I was at a RiverDogs baseball game, its the the 7th inning and I'm feeling pretty good from the cold beer in the summer sun. Doing my usual taunts and trash talking when some guy a couple rows up yells at me to shut up. I think to myself i payed my money and this isn't golf so I'm gonna yell what I want as loud as I want. After another RiverDogs home run I go nuts screaming at the other team how much they suck, and like a wild pitch a half-eaten hot dog fully loaded hits me right square in the back of the head. As I slowly turn around to see who's gonna get my empty Miller Lite can, I see Bill Fucking Murray standing alone. As I zero in on his face trying to be pissed off at one of the funniest man I watched growing up as a kid, he mouths the words "No one will ever believe you".

Thanks Kenneth

A few years ago a friend of mine had a showing at a nearby art gallery. The place was nothing special, just more of a dwelling for other local artists and enthusiasts in the area. I arrived around nine pm just when the crowd was at it's best. There were maybe 50 or 60 people in attendance at that time, which was a good amount for the size of the place. My friend spotted me while I waited for my drink to be made and came over to greet me. I congratulated her on getting the show and how happy I was for her. After we talked for a bit more she had to go mingle with other guests and this gave me the chance to check out her work. As I walked toward the back of the gallery I noticed one strange, ominous looking man standing very close to one of the pieces. He had a long dark coat on with the collar up and was wearing a black baseball cap and black sunglasses. There weren't many people in this area, and no one else seemed to notice he was even there. I watched as he kept staring at this particular piece. Every time he moved, he would keep his feet in the same spot and lean his body closer towards the painting. I hadn't even realized that I was drawn towards this man until I was only a couple feet away from him. Before either of us could say anything, he looked me straight in the eyes, and licked my friend's painting with his tongue. I was shocked but mostly confused. He turned towards my direction, removed his hat and glasses, and softly said to me "No one will ever believe you."

It was Bill Murray.

Check this site out, it is better than this one: The Prophecy